The headlines states, “People are talking about sugar in kids’ cereals. General Mills is doing something about it.”
Whoa. A major reason people are discussing kids’ cereals’ sugar content is because of General Mills. So when they say they are doing something about it, it sounds as if they are altruistically trying to do something about a problem they had no part in. They are not innocent bystanders.
The subhead continues, “General Mills commits to reduce the sugar levels in advertised children’s cereals to single digit levels.”
· “commits”…exactly when will this happen? (I have committed to learn how to expertly chop vegetables, but that still hasn’t happened.)
· “in advertised children’s cereals”…wonder why they made the exception of ‘advertised’ children’s cereal?
· “single digit”…at four grams of sugar to a teaspoon, a single digit level of nine is still more than two teaspoons of sugar.
Finally, the first line of copy points out that, “At General Mills, some consumers have told us they wanted lower sugar level wants in children’s cereal.” “Some” wanted lower levels? Three? A thousand?
I do not mean to pick on General Mills. (In the interest of full disclosure, I spent many happy times creating commercials for Trix and Cocoa Puffs, and will still do a reasonable impression of Gramps screaming, “I’m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs” at the drop of a cereal spoon.)
But if you have news to announce, don’t be so obviously self-serving. In this case a headline of “General Mills Is Doing Something About Sugar Levels In Our Kids’ Cereals” would be a step in the right direction.
What do you think?
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