As many of you are aware, I created this funny app, S.L.O.T.H. It’s the pedometer app that encourages you to slow down.
S.L.O.T.H. keeps a very accurate count of your footsteps, but it is also the only pedometer that exercises your funny bone. It was designed for the millions who are tired of the reminders to increase their daily footsteps, the pleas to get off the bus one stop before their exit, and the irritating suggestions to use the stairs instead of the elevator.
S.L.O.T.H. uses funny sayings and relevant quotes to encourage you to relax, stop overexerting yourself and simply slow down. Examples of the pop ups that appear periodically on the screen are:
• The only time you should rush is if the pizza place is about to close
• Don’t sweat the small stuff. In fact, try not to sweat at all
• “I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.” ― Neil Armstrong
• Take time to smell the roses. And the doughnuts
• If you stop now, your sneakers will last a lot longer
• The song doesn’t say, “Walking on the dock of the bay.”
• Yawning is a lot healthier than gasping
The reason I need your help is that I need new, fresh, funny sayings to add to the app. Though there are over 100 different messages, we need even more…. and I am tapped out.
So, here’s the request. Send me some lines—new, fresher, funnier—in the comments section. Send as many as you like. And for every one we use in a future update, you will get, well, something. At the very least, a shout out in my blog. Or maybe a complimentary S.L.O.T.H.-Band, our wristband that supports the Sloth Sanctuary in Costa Rica.
For inspiration, you can check out the S.L.O.T.H. app in the Apple App Store,. It is 99 cents. A small price to pay for freedom from the tyranny of the fitness focused. Or you can visit the website, for free.
But please, spread the word. Though the truth is that the more entries I get, the smaller the chance of your entry being selected, you will feel good doing the right thing. (I am working on a more persuasive reason.)